Merry? No… Mary Eve.

Holidays have become a lot louder than the truth.

So instead of getting lost in Merry Christmas Eve, I think about two women who carry more meaning than any holiday could hold:

Mary and Eve.

Mary Eve.

Two women whose stories shaped the world, and somehow, shaped me too.

If I’m honest, I didn’t always understand women.

I didn’t always feel connected to them.

And I didn’t always feel safe around them.

For a long time, I questioned why everything in society seemed to revolve around women.

Women’s movements.

Women’s empowerment.

Women’s support groups.

Women’s conferences.

Women’s healing circles.

And I remember thinking, why is it always about women?

Why are we always the focus?

Why are men left out?

At the time, I didn’t make the connection, but now I see that part of that confusion was tied to my own father's wounds.

My longing for men to show up.

My frustration with their absence.

My resentment.

My disappointment.

Motherhood shifted things for me in ways I didn’t expect.

The Complicated Truth About Womanhood

It took me a long time to admit this, but I had tension with women because I misunderstood us — myself included.

Some of my deepest wounds came from women.

My first sexual abuse experience was caused by a woman.

Most of my early pain came from the hands I expected gentleness from.

And when that is your introduction to womanhood, it changes how you see women.

I didn’t see women as delicate or sensitive.I didn’t see us as emotional beings who needed protection.I saw women lie.

I saw women protect each other even when it was wrong.

And because of that, I believed women caused more chaos than they endured.

So when I constantly saw women’s movements, women’s support groups, and women-centered healing spaces, I honestly didn’t understand.

I didn’t get why everything was focused on women.

I didn’t get why the world seemed to prioritize our voices.

Motherhood changed how I see women

Motherhood showed me the difference between judging women and understanding women. It made me intentional about how I wanted to show up. It made me more transparent with my own children. It made me want to break cycles instead of surviving them.

I had heard the saying before:

A nation can only go as far as its women.

But I recently read it at a time when I was finally open enough to understand it.

This isn’t about elevating women above men.

This isn’t about ignoring what men contribute.

This isn’t about turning womanhood into a burden.

It is about recognizing that women do play a foundational role.

We raise the children who grow into adults.

We birth the same men who later become someone’s heartbreak, someone’s trigger, someone’s absentee father, someone’s joy, someone’s reason to heal.                 

We also raise daughters who grow into someone’s hurt or someone’s healing, shaping the world in ways they may never realize.

That doesn’t make women the problem or the solution.It makes us part of the beginning.

Men and women are a team.

But birth starts with us.

Life starts with us.

Emotional imprinting often starts with us.

And because of that, we do have to see ourselves differently.

Not as fragile.

Not as faultless.

But as powerful, influential human beings.

Why Mary and Eve matter on this Mary Eve

Eve represents the moment you ask questions you aren’t supposed to ask.

The moment you want clarity instead of silence.

The moment you choose truth over comfort.

Mary represents the moment life asks something from you that feels bigger than you.

The moment responsibility meets purpose.

The moment you carry something heavy that others only see as beautiful.

Together, they reflect the reality of womanhood:

we seek truth and we carry life.

we question and we nurture.

we lead and we hold.

we break cycles and we create new ones.

They weren’t flawless or fearless.

They were simply women learning themselves in real time.

And sometimes that’s the whole point.

My Truth on This Mary Eve

I am learning to see womanhood without expectation.

Without resentment.

Without only seeing the hurt.

Without carrying the world and pretending it never gets heavy.

I’m learning to see myself clearly.

To honor the influence I have as a woman and as a mother.

To give myself the grace I didn’t always have for other women.

To understand that womanhood comes with a responsibility that should never replace our humanity.

We cannot carry nations and forget to carry ourselves.

A Mary Eve Reflection

Ask yourself:

What weight have I carried that was never meant to define my entire life?

And how can I begin seeing myself with more truth and compassion going into the next season?

Sit with those questions.

Let them uncover something sacred.

Let them guide you back to yourself.

On this Mary Eve, may you see your womanhood clearly, not through pressure, not through pain, but through power and truth.