You’re Suicidal.

You’re suicidal.

Yes, I said it.

You’re suicidal.

You’re suicidal every time you remain quiet.

You’re suicidal when you stay silent in your relationships.

At the doctor’s office.

With your family and friends.

At work.

Even with yourself.

Now that I have your attention, let me tell you what this is really about: silence.

We do not talk about silence the way we talk about death. But silence has killed more people than suicide ever has. Silence is the slow version. The everyday version. The acceptable version.

Every time something feels off in your body and you ignore it, you are killing yourself.

Every time you numb instead of name how you feel, you are killing yourself.

People kill themselves every day and it gets labeled as high blood pressure, stroke, diabetes, bad nerves, or that is just how life is.

Just because you did not put a gun to your head or a knife to your wrist does not mean you are not dying.

When you drink your pain, you are killing yourself.

When you swallow your truth, you are killing yourself.

When you silence your needs, you are killing yourself.

When you stay where peace has already left, you are killing yourself.

Silence is self harm disguised as strength.

Silence Is the Other “S” Word

Suicide is like the other S word nobody wants to talk about.

Sex was the first one.

Suicide is the second.

Silence is the one that connects them both.

Silence is deadly because silence turns into self harm.

Every time you say yes when you want to say no, you are hurting yourself.

Every time you stay when your spirit already left, you are hurting yourself.

Every time you protect other people from your truth, you are hurting yourself.

Eventually hurting yourself becomes intentional.

Then it becomes familiar.

And familiar becomes normal.

That is how chaos becomes a personality.

That is how dysfunction becomes home.

That is how people die while still living.

Let’s Talk About the Body

Silence does not just kill emotionally.

It kills physically.

When you ignore your body’s warnings, the fatigue, the headaches, the chest tightness, the sadness, the inflammation, the cravings, the shortness of breath, the body starts shutting down piece by piece.

Diabetes.

Hypertension.

Stroke.

Autoimmune disorders.

Heart disease.

We call it genetics.

We call it stress.

We call it age.

But sometimes it is just silence with symptoms.

Because the body will speak when the mouth will not.

Punching Bag

I feel like I have been a punching bag my entire life.

Not because people were hitting me.

Because I was hitting myself by staying quiet.

Quiet for love.

Quiet for family.

Quiet for peace.

Quiet for reputation.

Quiet for survival.

The hardest people to walk away from are the ones you stayed silent with the longest.

We convince ourselves that if they are a piece of us, then we are incomplete without them.

But completeness comes from wholeness, not attachment.

Stop Calling Chaos Normal

We were born in chaos, literally in a hospital, but you do not have to make chaos your lifestyle.

Silence is chaos.

Self abandonment is chaos.

Doing nothing to save yourself is chaos.

Suicide is not always a moment.

Sometimes it is a pattern.

Sometimes it is a lifestyle.

Sometimes it is silence.

Before We Close

Death is not always literal.

Sometimes death is when you stop telling the truth.

Sometimes death is when you stop choosing yourself.

Sometimes death is when you stop listening to your body.

Sometimes death is when you settle for surviving instead of living.

Healing begins the moment you stop being silent with yourself.

Ci Notes

You do not have to die to be suicidal.

You just have to keep choosing everyone but yourself.

Ask yourself:

Where have I been killing myself slowly by staying silent, and what truth would I speak if survival was not my first language?

Peace does not come from hiding.

It comes from unloading.