Gang Related

Gangs are not the only place kids are running to feel safe anymore.

When I was growing up, especially in the environments I knew, gangs and drug dealers were who many kids looked up to.

Not because we wanted to be criminals.

Because they made us feel safe.

They made us feel protected.

They made us feel seen.

When you grow up in communities where survival is the daily focus, safety becomes currency.

And whoever provides that safety becomes powerful.

That is why so many kids were drawn to that lifestyle.

It was not always about the money.

It was about belonging.

It was about protection.

It was about feeling like someone had your back.

The Image of the Fast Life

When I moved to Indiana, things looked a little different.

The gangs were not the same as when I was a small kid, but they were still there.

And the drug dealers were definitely still there.

During COVID there was even a phrase floating around social media.

“The hood power couple.”

A nurse or CNA and a drug dealer.

And if I am being honest, like I always am now, I dated and entertained a few.

When the show Power came out it only fueled the image of the drug dealer lifestyle.

And for a long time, I just assumed I would end up marrying one.

That is how normalized it was.

Growing Up Changes the Lens

But now I am older.

Wiser.

And honestly, there are too many opportunities out here now for someone over thirty, pushing forty like me, to still be doing what they were doing in high school.

I understand the struggle.

I understand growing up in poverty driven communities.

Sometimes we did what we had to do.

But now with technology and A.I., the opportunities are endless.

You can build businesses.

Create content.

Learn skills.

Make money from a laptop.

So when someone is still stuck in the fast life decades later, it shows where their mind is.

Kids Are Still Looking for Protection

But here is the real reason I started writing this.

Gangs are no longer the only place kids run to feel safe.

You would think the answer would be parents.

Or teachers.

Or therapists.

But life has always had duality.

Just like there was good and bad within the gang culture, the same thing exists with technology and A.I.

People are now turning to technology to feel safe.

To feel seen.

To feel understood.

And sometimes to get money.

But it is not all good.

A New Kind of Addiction

People are literally falling in love with technology.

With games.

With artificial intelligence.

People are killing themselves and others over technology.

People used to say “I’m married to the game.”

Now people are literally married to the game.

Attached to screens.

Addicted to gaming systems.

Roblox.

Xbox.

Discord.

PlayStation.

Social media.

Just a few years ago the addiction was the fast life.

Now the addiction is digital life.

Not Just Kids

And the truth is, it is not just kids.

Adults are seeking refuge in this digital age as well.

People are isolating themselves.

People are harming themselves.

People are literally falling in love with chat boxes and artificial intelligence.

Not because people are crazy.

Because people are lonely.

Because people are searching for a place where they feel understood without judgment.

A place where they can speak freely.

A place where they feel safe being themselves.

The same things kids are looking for online.

Adults are looking for them too.

Safety.

Acceptance.

Unconditional love.

And when people cannot find that in their real lives, they start searching for it in digital spaces.

Even if the connection is artificial.

Even if the comfort is temporary.

Because the need to be seen and understood is human.

What Parents Need to Understand

As a therapist, I am seeing something alarming.

Kids are online talking to strangers who make them feel safe.

Seen.

Protected.

The exact same things gangs once provided.

And many times those strangers are predators.

But the child does not see a predator.

They see someone who listens.

Someone who understands them.

Someone who does not judge them.

And sometimes the reason kids run to these digital spaces is because their parents are judging them instead of being transparent with them.

Not transparent.

Transparent with the word parent inside of it.

Children do not need perfect parents.

They need honest ones.

The Digital Streets

When we were kids, we were outside.

All day.

Until the street lights came on.

Our parents had no idea where we were most of the time.

And somehow we still made it home.

Today the streets look different.

The streets are online.

Group chats.

Gaming systems.

Private messages.

Discord servers.

Algorithms.

Kids are navigating entire worlds their parents do not even know exist.

And in those worlds they are searching for the same thing kids have always searched for.

Safety.

Protection.

Belonging.

Where Did the Code Go

When we were kids, there was a code.

T.I. said it best in the song You:

“You know what we did, man, we did out of a lack of options.But we stuck to a code.”

Today there is no code to the encoding happening now.

No code to the algorithms.

No code to the digital streets.

And because there is no code, we have to give our children something stronger.

Let Kids Be Kids

Parents today are trying so hard to protect their kids from the lives we lived.

But sometimes in doing that, we restrict them so much that they search for freedom somewhere else.

Kids need exploration.

Kids need curiosity.

Kids need space to discover themselves.

Not constant surveillance.

Not constant judgment.

Let them be kids.

Let them be free.

Let them explore.

Because what children are really searching for is not protection.

It is unconditional love without judgment.

Ci Notes

Affirmation:

I create spaces where truth can exist without judgment.

Where in my life can I replace judgment with understanding? How can I make the young people around me feel safe enough to tell the truth?

Kids are not just searching for protection.

They are searching for unconditional love.

And when they cannot find it at home, they will search for it somewhere else.

Because this is not gang related.

This is love related.