No Boundaries

I know how this sounds coming from a therapist.

No boundaries.

But before you clutch your pearls, let me explain.

You know what I hear more than “I just want to be happy” in therapy?

“It’s easier said than done.”

And here’s my honest truth.

Life is actually easy.

Especially as an adult in America.

I can’t speak for other countries, but here, life is easy.

We complicate our own lives to accommodate everyone around us.

Our employers.

Our employees.

Our religions.

Our friends.

Our families.

Our partners.

And then we suffer.

People pleasing is like you sucking the poison out of someone and expecting to heal them.

But all you’re really doing is poisoning yourself.

And we do it every day.

Why Boundaries Feel Like a Burden

The truth is, boundaries are not hard because we don’t know what to do.

They’re hard because we do know what to do.

We just don’t want to do it.

Because who actually wants to live with boundaries?

Contrary to popular belief, boundaries are for your own protection. They exist because something is unsafe. Something is draining. Something is taking too much.

So we place boundaries in our lives to stay around people we had to create boundaries for.

And I started realizing something about myself.

If you enter my life and I have to set boundaries with you, I would rather distance myself.

Because I’m water. Big water. Big 3 Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio.

And it’s hard to put water in a box.

I’m going to spill over every time.

Because my cup naturally overflows.

So I can only allow people in my life who I trust and who do not require me to establish boundaries just to feel safe around them.

Walking by Faith, Not by Sight

This is where my spiritual truth comes in.

Because when I have to set boundaries, I’m not walking by faith.I’m walking by sight.

I’m reacting to what I see.

What I’ve experienced.

What I’ve observed.

What I’ve tolerated.

What keeps repeating.

And I don’t want to live my life based on what I’ve seen.

I want to live my life based on alignment.

I’m setting my life up to trust our creator.

To trust myself.

To trust my higher self.

To trust my soul.

To trust my spirit.

Because I am an essence of God.

A piece of God.

A creation of God.

And I’m grateful for my creator.

I trust the process.

And part of that trust is knowing I don’t have to force anything.

Not relationships.

Not love.

Not loyalty.

Not connection.

If it’s real, it will flow.

No Boundaries Means No Limits

Boundaries limit how I love.

How I show up.

How I give.

How I care.

And I don’t want to live a limited life.

So I made a decision.

I’m living a life without boundaries.

Without limits.

Not because I’m careless.

But because I’m intentional.

Because the truth is, if I have to create rules to survive you, then you don’t need access to me.

And that was hard for me to admit.

But it’s honest.

No Boundaries With Myself

The real shift is that I have no boundaries with myself anymore.

I show myself grace.

But with discernment.

I used to feel guilty about everything.

I used to feel guilty about not finishing a movie in one setting.

I used to tell myself I didn’t like it, but truthfully, I just didn’t give it a chance.

Now I watch movies like mini episodes.

Because I’m not big on TV.

I enjoy going to sleep early.Waking up early.

Being to myself.

Reading.

Walking.

Sitting in the sauna, my favorite.

Or sometimes laying in bed and watching TV.

But it’s different now.

Because now I have discernment.

I know what I want.

Longevity.

Peace.

A long and healthy life.

So I don’t punish myself anymore.

I guide myself.

Alignment With Nature

I am aligning my life with nature.

I wake up with the sun.

And I go to sleep with the sun.

And that’s what being natural really is.

The definition of natural is being one with nature.

And I think we don’t talk about that enough.

Because we are so disconnected from our home, Earth, we have to create boundaries for everything.

Boundaries for alignment.

Boundaries for relationships.

Boundaries for happiness.

Boundaries for homeostasis.

And the more disconnected you are from nature, the more boundaries you will need to survive.

Because you are living out of alignment with self.

And you can feel it.

That’s why people are forcing income through jobs they hate.

Forcing relationships because “that’s my parent.”

“That’s my family.”

“That’s my friend.”

“That’s my child.”

“That’s my partner.”

Forcing situations.

Forcing feelings.

Forcing a smile.

And every time you have to establish a boundary, it is a sign you are not choosing you.

You are not choosing alignment.

That was hard for me to admit.

But it’s the truth.

Choosing Me Was the Hardest Thing I Ever Did

I had to do something I’ve never done in my whole entire life.

Choose me.

And choose me every single day.

Choosing to isolate myself from everything I grew up with was not easy.

But it was necessary.

I needed to quiet the noise.

I needed to do the inventory work.

I needed to ask myself:

Does my life look like what I want?

What I need?

What I desire today and for the rest of my life?

And the answer is finally becoming yes.

And what’s crazy is, when I talk to new people, they are amazed at my life.

They are positive about my life.

They dream bigger for me than I dream for myself.

And I can love them without boundaries because they are loving me without boundaries.

That’s what alignment feels like.

When a Season Ends, It Ends

I’m at a point where I’m so aligned with our creator and my higher self that I can feel when it’s time to distance myself gracefully.

And I’m not upset.

I’m not disappointed in them.

I’m not disappointed in myself.

I just know our time has passed.

Our season.

Our chapter.

And I know it was still beautiful.

Because I value time more than I value money.

So I’m intentional about who I give my time to.

Especially now.

I know the impact of stress.

Confusion.

Anxiety.

An unregulated nervous system.

I know it takes years off your life.

And I’m not interested in a hard life anymore.

I want a long, healthy, soft life.

A peaceful life.

Ci Notes

Affirmation:

I am allowed to choose alignment without guilt.

Am I walking by faith or by sight?

Am I forcing connection, or flowing in alignment?

I’m done with the hard life.

The rest of my life looks soft because I’m living with no boundaries.